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Successful. Satisfied. Searching. How do you see yourself? |
Pull up a chair and take some notes.
Featuring Deepak Chopra, Mark Sanborn,Sylvia Henderson, and Mark Victor Hansen
Conversations on Success is an in-depth look into the lives, lessons & motivations of a unique collection of men & women who have a real handle on success. Pick & choose from the menu to determine the mix of strategies & guidance that’s right for you.
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Purpose of book: |
This post from LinkedIn contributor Gillian Zoe Segal appeared originally on LinkedIn.
For my new book, “Getting There: A Book of Mentors,” I spent 5 years interviewing some of the most successful people alive (Warren Buffett, Michael Bloomberg, Anderson Cooper, Sara Blakely, Jeff Koons, Kathy Ireland, Les Moonves, to name a few).
Here are the 7 things they all have in common:
In his “Getting There” essay, legendary investor Warren Buffett explains that it’s essential to understand your strengths and weaknesses.
He relays that when deciding what to pursue, knowing what to leave out is as important as knowing what to focus on and quotes Tom Watson (the founder of IBM) who said, “I’m no genius but I’m smart in spots and I stay around those spots.”
Buffett explains, “My brain is not a general-purpose brain that works marvelously in all situations. There are all sorts of things that I’m no good at and there are all kinds of investment opportunities I’m not able to comprehend. I understand some kinds of simple businesses. I can’t understand complicated ones. Coca- Cola, for example, isn’t very complicated. It’s a durable product and the appeal is universal. I try to find businesses I can grasp, where I like the people running them and think the price makes sense in relation to the future economics.”
John Paul DeJoria, billionaire co-founder of the Patrón Spirits Company and John Paul Mitchell Systems, advises, “Do what you do best and try to find others who can fill in by doing the things you are not good at. For instance, I am terrible at details — accounting especially, so I hire accountants to help me. This frees me up to focus on the things I do excel at and I can run a more efficient operation.”
None of my “Getting There” subjects are good at everything, but they all became incredibly successful by honing in on what they excel at.
You’ve probably heard this before — and for good reason! The path to success is almost guaranteed to be arduous, but if you love what you do you’ll thrive on the inevitable challenges and have the stamina to achieve your potential. My “Getting There” subjects express that if you pursue something just for the money or because you “think you should” — it probably won’t end well.
World famous scientist J. Craig Venter (AKA the first person to sequence the human genome) says, “So many people get pushed along in the “system,” and because they don’t really know what they want to do, they practically let their careers be chosen for them. If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, it’s hard to be successful at it. You can show up and do what’s required, and you can even do your job well, but that’s not where real success is going to come from. Success comes from doing something extraordinary with passion and intensity.”
World famous composer Hans Zimmer joked in his “Getting There” essay, “Whenever I need legal or medical advice I go announce my problems to my orchestra … Half are doctors and half are lawyers whose parents forced them into those jobs!”
My “Getting There” subjects demonstrate that you don’t need to have your career all mapped out. What’s essential is to always keep your eyes open for new opportunities and be open to change.
▪ craigslist founder Craig Newmark stumbled upon his businesses while trying to pursue a social goal.
▪ Michael Bloomberg only decided to start his own company, Bloomberg LP, after being fired from his job at Salomon Brothers
▪ Jillian Michaels, who runs a health and wellness empire, dedicated herself to that field after being fired as a talent agent
▪ Les Moonves, the President and CEO of CBS, originally pursued acting, but eventually realized he would be happier on the other side of the camera
Moonves elaborates, “Things sometimes come at you and hit you in the face. If your path is rigid, you’ll likely miss out on opportunities … I shifted from acting to producing theater and realized it felt great. Before long, I shifted again and got my first job in TV as a development executive at Columbia Pictures Television.”
None of my “Getting There” subjects waited around for someone to recognize a talent in them and offer them a break. It would be awesome if the world worked that way, but unfortunately it rarely does. If you want something, you have to figure out a way to make it happen.
Example:
Anderson Cooper wanted to be a foreign news correspondent but couldn’t even get an entry-level job at any of the major networks. He ended up working as a fact checker for Channel One, an agency that produces news programs for high schools.
Cooper quickly realized that when you are at a job people tend to pigeonhole you in whatever role you are in — and sometimes you have to do something drastic in order to change people’s perception of you. So he quit his job, borrowed a friend’s video camera, and went overseas to shoot stories by himself.
Living on a mere five dollars a day, Cooper made his videos as interesting and dangerous as possible, then offered them to Channel One for such a low price that they couldn’t refuse. This bold move is what launched his career and enabled him to live his dream.
Cooper explains, “Had I asked the producers at Channel One if they would be supportive of my going out to make war videos, they would probably have said no. It’s easier to say no than it is to say yes, and they might not have wanted to feel responsible for me in any way. So I just did it. I rarely ask people for advice or permission when I’m planning on doing something I feel strongly about. That only opens the plan up to be crapped on.”
My “Getting There” subjects don’t blindly follow others. They think on their own and understand that just because something has been done one way for years doesn’t mean that it’s the best way, or that another way won’t work.
Example:
In the mid 1970’s Gary Hirshberg noticed that we were changing the way food was made, for the worse. (We were injecting our animals with hormones and antibiotics, spraying our fields and produce with toxic pesticides, and using chemical fertilizers, all with no real knowledge of what would happen to kids who grew up on a diet containing these things.)
Hirshberg started promoting organic food before most people knew what the word meant. He soon co-founded the organic yogurt company, Stonyfield Farms. He recalls, “When I tried to get retailers to carry Stonyfield yogurt, which was a little more expensive than the nonorganic brands, they’d say, ‘Does Organic mean it has dirt in it?’ It was difficult to get stores to carry our products.”
It took Stonyfield nine years to make its first nickel, but it is now the largest organic yogurt company in the world — and every large manufacturer in the food space has an organic product line.
Hirshberg says, “Challenging conventional wisdom can be scary, but most major changes happen because someone asked: ‘Why not do it differently?’ If you don’t ask, you don’t get.”
My “Getting There” subjects know that trying new things is essential for growth and if you don’t take risks you will never get anywhere. As a result, they view falling down as just part of the process. As super-model-turned- entrepreneurial-mogul Kathy Ireland succinctly puts it, “If you never fail, it means you are not trying hard enough.”
Ireland failed for years at various start-ups (a microbrewery, a skin-care line, and several art projects), before finally launching her own brand, kathy ireland Worldwide. It is now a $2 billion enterprise with its name on more than 15,000 products.
Fitness expert Jillian Michaels elaborates, “No one likes to feel vulnerable, but the reality is that you can only know as much depth, happiness, and success in your life as you can know vulnerability. If you don’t ask out a girl or a guy on a date, you won’t get rejected, but you won’t fall in love either. If you don’t apply for the job, then you won’t get the position you want. If you don’t try to start your own business, then you’ll never be the entrepreneur you always dreamed of being.”
** This one is the real clincher! **
Every single one of my “Getting There” subjects has failed, numerous times — but they found success because they were able to stand back up and try again, or learn from their mistakes and try something new. The point is, they forced themselves to keep moving forward.
▪ Author Jeff Kinney spent eight years writing his first “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” book only to have it rejected by multiple publishers. Abrams finally gave him a chance and there are now over 115 million Wimpy Kid books in print (not to mention the movies)
▪ John Paul DeJoria was fired from three jobs and lived in his car on two dollars and fifty cents a day. He went on to found John Paul Mitchell Systems and the Patrón Spirits Company
▪ After establishing his own architectural practice, Frank Gehry found himself on the verge of bankruptcy several times before reaching solid ground
▪ Matthew Weiner shopped his TV show around Hollywood, but it was rejected all over town. “Mad Men” finally made it to the screen seven years after it was written
I have come to compare life to a game of Whack-A-Mole. (You know that arcade game in which players use a mallet to hit toy moles back into their holes?) Well, life seems to whack us all over the head from time-to-time. In big ways and in small ways. In ways that have to do with our career and ways that have to do with our personal lives. They all intermingle.
My “Getting There” subjects are where they are today because, even after getting whacked multiple times, they found a way to lick their wounds then pop back up with a smile. This is what you must do in this world … so the next time you get a whack, recall a specific story that inspires you (“Getting There” is chock full of them!), then figure out a way to pop yourself out of whatever hole you happen to be in.
“Getting There: A Book of Mentors” is filled with inspiring anecdotes, actionable career advice, and wisdom applicable to life in general.
– Mandi Villarreal (www.arkfinancial.com)
“You interrupt too much,” people email me. “Let your guests finish talking.” But I can’t help it. I get curious. I want to know! Now!
Over the past year I interviewed about 80 guests for my podcast. My only criteria: I was fascinated by some aspect of each person.
I didn’t limit myself by saying each one had to be an entrepreneur or had to be a success.
I just wanted to talk to anyone who made me curious about their lives. I spoke to entrepreneurs, comedians, artists, producers, astronauts, writers, rappers, and even this country’s largest beer brewer.
Will I do it for the next year? Maybe. It’s hard.
Sometimes I would pursue a guest for six months with no reply and then they would call and say, “Can you do right now?” and I’d change all plans with kids, business, etc.
I had no favorites. They were all great. I interviewed Peter Thiel, Coolio, Mark Cuban, Arianna Huffington, Amanda Palmer, Tony Robbins, and many more. I’m really grateful they all wanted to talk to me.
Podcasting, to be honest, was just an excuse for me to call up whoever I wanted to call and ask them all sorts of personal questions about their lives. If I wanted to talk about “Star Wars,” I called the author of a dozen Star Wars novels.
If I wanted to talk about Twisted Sister, I called up the founder of the band. If I wanted to talk sex I called the women who ran the “Ask Women” podcast.
I wanted to know at what point were they at their worst. And how they got better. Each person created a unique life. I wanted to know how they did it. I was insanely curious.
As Coolio told me, “You got me to reveal some deep stuff I didn’t want to reveal. Kudos.” Tony Robbins had to literally shake himself at one point and say, “Wait, how did we end up talking about this?” I can’t help it. I want to know.
Here are the most important things I learned. I can’t specify which person I learned what from. It hurts my head when I think about it because many of the 80 said the exact same thing about how they ended up where they were.
Here is some of what they said:
A) A life is measured in decades.
Too many people want happiness, love, money, connections, everything yesterday. Me too. I call it “the disease.” I feel often I can paint over a certain emptiness inside if only…if only…I have X.
But a good life is like the flame of a bonfire. It builds slowly, and because it’s slow and warm it caresses the heart instead of destroys it.
B) A life is measured by what you did TODAY, even this moment.
This is the opposite of “A” but the same. You get success in decades by having success now.
That doesn’t mean money now. It means, “Are you doing your best today?”
Everyone worked at physical health, improving their friendships and connections with others, being creative, being grateful. Every day.
For those who didn’t, they quickly got sick, depressed, anxious, fearful. They had to change their lives. When they made that change, universally they all said to me, “That’s when it all started.”
C) Focus is not important, but Push is (reinvention).
Very few people have just one career. And for every career, it’s never straight up.
When you have focus, it’s like saying, “I’m just going to learn about only one thing forever.” But “the push” is the ability to get up every day, open up the shades, and push through all the things that make you want to go back to sleep.
Even if it means changing careers 10 times. Or changing your life completely. Just pushing forward to create a little more life inside yourself.
Compound life is much more powerful than compound interest.
D) Give without thinking of what you will receive.
I don’t think I spoke to a single person who believed in setting personal goals. But 100% of the people I spoke to wanted to solve a problem for the many.
It doesn’t matter how you give each day. It doesn’t even matter how much. But everyone wanted to give and eventually they were given back.
E) Solving hard problems is more important than overcoming failure.
The outside world is a mirror of what you have on the inside. If Thomas Edison viewed his 999 attempts at creating a lightbulb a failure then he would’ve given up. His inside was curious. His inside viewed his “attempts” as experiments. Then he did #1000. Now we can see in the dark.
Dan Ariely was burned all over his body and used that experience to research the psychology of pain and ultimately the psychology of behavior and how we can make better decisions.
Tony Robbins lost everything when his marriage ended, but he came back by coaching thousands of people.
It’s how you view the life inside you that creates the life outside of you. Every day.
F) Art and success and love is about connecting all the dots.
Here are some dots: The very personal sadness sitting inside of you. The things you learn. The things you read about. The things you love. Connect the dots. Give it to someone.
Now you just gave birth to a legacy that will continue beyond you.
G) It’s not business, it’s personal.
Nobody succeeded with a great idea.
Everyone succeeded because they built networks within networks of connections, friends, colleagues all striving towards their own personal goals, all trusting each other, and working together to help each other succeed.
This is what happens only over time. This is why giving creates a bigger world because you can never predict what will happen years later.
Biz Markie described to me how he helped a 7-year-old kid named Jay-Z with his lyrics.
Peter Thiel’s ex employees created tens of billions of dollars worth of companies.
Marcus Lemonis saves businesses every week on his show “The Profit.” It doesn’t come by fixing their accounting. It comes from fixing the relationships with the partners and the customers and the investors.
The best way to create a great business over time: Every day send one thank you letter to someone from your past. People (me) often say you can’t look back at the past. But this is the one way you can. You create the future by thanking the past.
H) You can’t predict the outcome, you can only do your best.
Hugh Howey thought he would write novels that only his family would read. So he wrote ten of them. Then he wrote “Wool,” which he self-published and has sold millions of copies and Ridley Scott is making the movie.
Clayton Anderson applied to be an astronaut for 15 years in a row and was rejected each time until the 16th.
Coolio wrote lyrics down every day for 17 years before having a hit. Noah Kagan was fired from Facebook and Mint without making a dime before starting his own business. Wayne Dyer quit his secure job as a tenured professor, put a bunch of his books in car and drove across the country selling them in every bookstore. Now he’s sold over 100,000,000 books.
Sometimes when I have conversations with these people they want to jump right to the successful parts but I stop them. I want to know the low points. The points where they had to start doing their best. What got them to that point.
I) The same philosophy of life should work for an emperor and a slave.
Ryan Holiday told me that both Marcus Aurelius, an emperor, and Epictetus, a slave, both subscribed to the idea of stoicism. You can’t predict pleasure or pain. You can only strive for knowledge and giving and fairness and health each day.
Many people write me it’s easy for so-and-so to say that now that he’s rich. Every single person I spoke to started off in a gutter or worse. (Well, most of them.)
Luck is certainly a component, but in chess there’s a saying (and this applies to anything) “it’s funny how always the best players seem to be lucky.”
J) The only correct path is the path correct for you.
Scott Adams tried about 20 different careers before he settled on drawing Dilbert. Now, he’s in 2000 papers, has written Dilbert books, Dilbert shows, Dilbert everything. Everyone was shocked when Judy Joo gave up a Wall St. career to go back to cooking school. Now she’s on the Food Channel as an “iron chef.”
Don’t let other people choose your careers. Don’t get locked in other people’s prisons they’ve set up just for you. Personal freedom starts from the inside but ultimately turns you into a giant, freeing you from the chains the little people spent years tying around you.
K) Many moments of small, positive, personal interactions build an extraordinary career.
Often people think that you have to fight your way to the top. But for everyone I spoke to it was small kindnesses over a long period of time that built the ladder to success. I think I’m starting to sound like a cliche on this. But it’s only a cliche because it’s true.
L) Taking care of yourself comes first.
Kamal Ravikant picked himself off a suicidal bottom by constantly repeating “I love you” to himself. Charlie Hoehn cured his anxiety by using every moment he could to play.
I’ve written before: The average kid laughs 300 times a day. The average adult…5.
Something knifed our ability to smile. Do everything you can to laugh, to create laughter for others, and then what can possibly be bad about today? I think that’s why I try to interview so many comedians are comedy writers. They make me laugh. It’s totally selfish.
M) The final answer: People do end up loving what they succeed at, or they succeed at what they love.
Mark Cuban said, “My passion was to get rich!” But I don’t really believe him. He loved computers so he created a software company. Then he wanted to watch Ohio basketball in Pittsburgh so he created Broadcast.com. I worked with Broadcast.com a little bit back in 1997. They were crusaders about bringing video to the Internet.
Sure, he wanted to use that to get rich. Because he knew better than anyone then how to let a good idea lead him to success.
But deep down he was a little kid who wanted to watch his favorite basketball. And now what does he do? He owns a basketball team.
N) Anybody, at any age
The ages of the people I spoke to ranged from 20 to 75. Each is still participating every day in the worldwide conversation. I asked Dick Yuengling from Yuengling beer why he even bothered to talk to me. He’s 75 and runs the biggest American-owned brewery worth about $2 billion. He laughed and said, “Well, you asked me.”
I just realized this list can go on for another 100 items.
The specifics of success. How to overcome hardships. How any one person can move society forward.
Down to even what are the most productive hours of the day, what’s the one word most important for success, and what we can look forward to over the next century and maybe 100 other things.
O) Figure out How to Make Uncertainty Work for You
Nassim Taleb makes sure he walks on uneven surfaces for at least 20 hours a week. The idea is not just exercise, but to get rid of the artificial comforts of certainty we think we have built for ourselves over the past 200 years.
When I interviewed him I was particularly worried that I was “fragile” as opposed to his concept of “Antifragile.” That once things break down in my life I have a tendency to break down with them. His book was rooted in economic concepts but it also applied to the personal.
Getting out of your comfort zone frequently and randomly is a way to boost your anti-fragility. Do something that might not work. Be around people who challenge you.
See what happens.
Then I learned many things about myself.
Most of the people I asked to come on my podcast said, “NO!” I told someone the other day I haven’t been rejected this much since freshman year of high school. I had to re-learn how to deal with so much rejection.
I’ve always been a big reader but never as much as this year. I read everything by all the guests.
Some weeks I felt like I was spending 10 hours a day preparing for podcasts. I learned to interview, to listen, to prepare, to pursue, to entertain, to educate.
Podcasting seems like it’s becoming an industry, or a business idea, or something worth looking at by entrepreneurs or investors. I have no clue about that.
For me, podcasting this year was just about calling anyone I wanted to call and talking to them. I felt like a little boy interviewing his heroes.
I highly recommend finding ways to call people for almost no reason. I learned a huge amount.
But it was hard.
It’s one of those things where I can say, “I don’t know if I can ever do that again.” But I also know I’m probably going to say the same thing next year.
– James Altucher
1. LOVE AND WARMTH
2. APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE
3. CURIOSITY
4. EXCITEMENT AND PASSION
5. DETERMINATION
6. FLEXIBIUTY
7. CONFIDENCE
8. CHEERFULNESS
9. VITALITY
10. CONTRIBUTION
– Anthony Robbins
Go Spiritual: No Moniker Applied 